FRIEND - a gifted relation to every human - Scene 2

Few people become so close that we cannot live without thinking about them, without feeling responsible for them, without feeling to have beside them and without feeling to talk to them.......and we call them as our FRIENDS :)

Sanjana beleives friends a lot. They are her strength. They need not help her financially or physically, but if they stand beside her mentally once in life, thats it, she will never leave them and show loyalty life long. Sometimes Sanjana say to me, "I am drunk, dear......I drank the wine of FRIENDS, and I am unable to come out of that hangover". Many times I told her, "you shouldn't use the word "drunk" for that. You should tell that you are high". But she never cares and never listen. She just repeat again the same words "No...No...I am drunk, dear......I drank the wine of FRIENDS, and I am unable to come out of the hangover". 

Sanjana always have some meaning to be conveyed from her words and ofcourse, as a close friend of her, I can understand it. I can sense she is missing something she usually enjoy from one among her six senses. So, I just asked her, "Sanju dear, did I hurt you without my knowledge". Sanju was first surprised and staring into my eyes. Then she showed a mixture of expressions and told, "Why would you hurt me Dear? You are the one who is always beside me, both in my highs and lows." 

It is quite a long time that I have spent longer hours with Sanjana due to busy schedule of my personal and official engagements. Now a days, I miss to meet her alone as before. Rather I am meeting her in group i.e. usually with some other close friend cum colleague of mine. Her name is Sruthi, my manager to whom I should report. In very less time, Sruthi became so close to me that I felt like a part of myself similar to what I feel about Sanjana. Ofcourse, a close friend of mine need not be close to Sanjana. But still, I meet her in such manner so that I do not want to miss either company. I never analyzed whether it is good idea or not. But this is happening for quite a long time. The first meet went well and even Sanjana liked my friend's company, infact she became an admirer and fan of some talents and qualities of my friend. I know Sanjana come to the evening meets, for me only. But as I find her comfortable with my friend's company too, I didn't think much on it. 

As and when days passed with such meetings, I and my friend started talking more about our office stuff without our knowledge. Ofcourse, it is a common human tendency when two colleagues cum friends do not find time/comfortability to discuss in office, would definitely talk more related when they meet out of office. But, after some days, Sanjana started feeling bored in the meetings. She can't express it to me because of two reasons as far as I know about her: (1) She don't want me to miss the company which I enjoy. (2)  At the same time she doesn't want to miss her time with me. As soon as I realized the boring expressions from Sanjana, I asked her whether she doesn't like my friend's company. I clearly mentioned, it is not always necessary to include my friend all the time. She used to reply,"No Dear, am fine and comfortable." But still I can sense that she is frightened to speak out something. So, I just continued the same cos I want to wait until she speak out. Usually Sanjana share the depth of her feelings to me. But I don't know what is stopping her this time.

Today, Sanjana messaged me, "Can U and me go out sometime for lunch. Today two of my close colleagues are on leave. Feeling very inactive today in office." I am bit concerned when I read the message. Sanju is very particular in the message this time i.e. she mentioned "U and me". So, I just want to clarify what is her intention and called. When she picked the call, I asked,"Sanju, why are you so particular, don't you want Sruthi for lunch with us." Again Sanju started stammering,"no....evening anyway we are going to meet, so let us two go now...." Still she is not clear to me. I told that I will call her back and cut the call. After that call we had a sequence of messages exchanged between us...as follows:

Sanju: If I meet Sruthi now and again in the evening...dosage will be more on my brain. It is enough for me to meet Sruthi once every day. And in the evening, even if I am not enjoying or not, I don't want to cut meeting you at the end of the day for someone else.So I will enjoy definitely.

Me: You will not cut me from meeting anyone else, dear...

Sanju: I dont know what else you want me to tell. From my side I am clear, I don't want u to miss something and I don't want me to miss you. As simple as tat.

Me: Leave it here... I got what your are saying

Sanju: why should I interrupt ur interests, dear...

Sanju: I am just making a humble request for lunch with u. Am not cutting you to meet anyone. if not possible no problem, I will adjust. Got used to tat.

Sanju: thanks if you really understood that there are no negative thoughts in me. At the end of the day, I don't mind to be mad taurean, but not bad. 

Me: Sanju... You are hurting me by making certain statements... I am not liking this way of yours... Before your brain says some thing...give a minute to think.

Sanju: Dear...could u pls let me know which statement of mine hurt u. cos some signal prob or bad communication b/w brain n heart. (actually in this message brain means sanju and heart means "me" in Sanju's point of view)

Me: I deleted your messages...Can you resend the last three...third from last is a problem

Sanju: Is it this message which I am sending now  "I am just making a humble request for lunch with u.am not cuting u to meet anyone. if not possible no problem, i will adjust.got used to tat"

Sanju: Is it this message? 

Sanju: I just mean to say something, that I got used to the happenings in my life, and nothing related to anythng in b/w u n me.

and after this I didn't reply to her messages........After some time again Sanju messaged me:

Sanju: I just want some time to spend with my heart. For that also I need to give these many explanations.

Sanju: If I say I don't want to spend time with u, and in that case, if you had asked these many questions, I would have felt that I have done some wrong.

Sanju: something is going wrong somewhere with me. Am not knowing whether the wrong is on my side or may be manufacturing defect in me.

Sanju: only happiness in the conversation we have done now is the sharing level u had shown with me. Thanks much. even though you are angry with me, pls dont let it down.

still I sent no messages to her......then after sometime....

Sanju: Dear, let us cancel the lunch. You have your lunch as usual. Let us meet in the evening with Sruthi.

Sanju: even though I meet u now, I don't think I will be in a mood to spend time with you in a proper manner. just feel to cry may be.

Sanju: so better we don't meet now .keep cool. no matter. I will make my brain server up and continue my work. 

thats it...I called her immediately once I read this message from her. I started scolding, "Is everything your wish? Deciding whether to go out for a lunch and cancelling the same......are both your decisions!!!. Fine start off. We shall go out for lunch".

Sanju came to my office. We both drove to a nearby mall. While I am parking the car, again I started asking Sanju whether she don't like Sruthi's company. First Sanju replied in cool tone. When I continued she lost her patience and showed frustration. But she never show frustration on me. In the process of controlling it, she almost broke into tears. She is just hiding her eyes away from me by getting out of the car. At that moment, I got very angry and am unable to control and got out of the car and closed the door very furiously. It banged with a loud sound. Sanju was shocked with my violent actions and started trying to get control of her brain and expressions. She realized my anger and started running behind me, as I walked fast. She tried to smile and said,"Dear..." in low voice. I am out of control this time and shouted, "whenever you show your negative expression, we have to bear and you can't bear my anger!!!" Sanju just replied in low voice,"Even now, I am not happy, I am just controlling myself for you." 

We walked to the food court, got an order and sat. Then we started talking in cool tones and slowly cracked few jokes. Sanjana ate very slowly unlike everyday. She usually eat fast. I asked Sanju,"Why are you eating very slowly today." She simply smiled and replied, "I want to spend more time with you". I said,"Even we can eat fast and spend time together roaming in the mall." Sanju was surprised with my remark and smiled and replied nothing. Once we finished our lunch, I took Sanjana to crossword. In the crossword I met one of my friends who is sitting and reading some book. I had a short talk with her and started seeing the books. I found two books which I have read and liked much. I showed them to Sanjana. She didn't show interest in even looking them when I told. I just felt bit bad, but continued seeing other sections. Suddenly, when I turned back, I didn't find Sanju. When I searched for her, I found her reading the back cover of one of the books I mentioned. I smiled for myself and continued my book hunt. After some time gain I lost view of Sanju. When I searched I found her in clothes section. I am surprised how fast her interest shifted. I expected Sanju to buy that book and read. Anyway, I didn't continue thinking much on that and after sometime we left.

I dropped Sanju at my office. She left. After sometime, the friend whom I met in crossword called me. In the conversation with her, she mentioned she just came out of crossword. And she told, "By the way I saw your friend in the crossword still, and did you leave soon because of any more work in office". I am surprised when I heard this. I replied,"Do you mean Sanjana, whom I have introduced in crossword?". My friend replied,"Yes, Ofcourse, I think she purchased some book. I found her at the counter when I am coming out." When I heard these words, I am speechless, I just told my friend that I will call her back, and cut the call. I lost into some thoughts......Always Sanju never misses what I say to her. In some way or the other, whatever I do or not, she touches my heart....she value her friends so much.....