Score killer confidence - An inspiring article in Yahoo News

           When I passed through each line of the article @ http://in.news.yahoo.com/248/20100530/1582/tnl-score-killer-confidence.html I felt my brain applying the facts in real life's of myself and my friends around. The application of law of cause and effect of physics is very well explicit in the article. Morning, I and Sanjana went to Barista on the way to office, another favorite place of our times.  I showed the article to Sanjana my dearest friend as u all already know. She read the article and gave a half smile at me. These days I am sometimes getting angry at Sanjana's expressions if she doesn't put them in words explicitly of what do she really mean. I stopped eating and leaned back in chair with a deep sigh "uhhh....". Sanjan understood that I want her to tell the reason for half smile and her remark on the article. She said, "Sorry Dear, I know u are much bothered about my inner feelings and caring me so much. Fine, when I read this article I felt that my kids morning kiss and smile which I interact every morning have score killer confidence for me and only source for me to exist on this earth still. Her smile induces the strength in me, when I found no reason to exist on this earth after marraige......." She paused,  browsing through the feelings in her mind and then continued to explain, "every day morning when I interact with my kid, that day will definitely be a successful one in my work. Inspite of the distress I am dipped in after marraige, I am able to converse in a clear confident tone to colleagues and higher officials in meetings and other discussions. Am able to concentrate well in the work and complete successfully. This makes me win applause from the team and higher officials which is further boosting my confidence levels. These energy levels make me feel that there is some reason that I am still living cos I am able to atleast do the work of my interest and has been successful in it. " I appreciated her "Great! go ahead"

Every person in his/her life encounters pitfalls from the key source in their life and they seek for an alternate source to exist without thinking of  them. But people who are more determined only can maintain such stable brain set up until end. Otherwise they loose their life along with loss of hope. Hope Sanjana has a stable brain set up until a decent ending or until her life re-bounces to a happy married life.

Moulding Child's Manners - Parent's most challenging task, cos if you do not mould correctly, its very difficult to mend later

I am very surprised to see my 10 months old kid suddenly raising her hand and started "aaaaaaaa.......aaaaaa......." in a rythmic tone. She is doing this very frequently now a days. During pregnancey, I used to hear continuously to the melodious music, from the CD my doctor gave me. And after her birth, i used to keep the same like music running throughout the day. Even I used to sing the music notes and hum them showing the thaalams with hand to my daughter. After few months she started humming the same after me when I do it. Atleast she used to try to do it. I am very much surprised seeing that. Then now she started humming herself, though it doesn't come correctly. She suddenly raises her hand and wave it as if doing thaalaas and say "aaaa.....aaa....". I am not aware whether all kids do it at this age or not, but the style she does it is really make me wonder how quick these children are learning things now a days. Also she gives me high five which I used to do with her myself right frm her 2nd month. She gives thank you which her grandfather used to do from the start. She does the bajan which her great grandma thought her by clapping hands.

I used to say "NO" nodding by head whenever she touches or does anything she shouldn't touch or do. Now, she nods her head to convey that she doesn't want to do anything. She handles anything in her hand when asked and receives thank you from us. If we ask to bring any object which is near to her, she herself pick it and give it to us. 

Whatever we do, either good or bad, children try to imitate us and learn from us. Such an easily mendable, sensitive minds they have. I realised that I need to be more careful from now. I felt in my mind that bringing up children is also a challenging task. Hope that I will be successfully completing that task. But sometimes I doubt asking myself "Can I???" cos I myself am bit kiddish.....hahaa.... ;)

I think this is the most challenging task for every parent cos if you do not mould anything correctly, its very difficult to mend it later(Learnt from Life - Siri :) Cheerzzz...). Ofcourse, these words apply to anything in our life. This is only a small thought that is bothering in my mind currently whenever I observe new changes in my child. There are many situations/examples I have observed in different phases of lives of people around me that satisfy these words. Soon I will present them in short stories with a work around.

Worst Life vs Cool Life of Indian Women

Sanjana and I went to one of our fantastic favorite place. Its a park with water pools here and there at regular distances. There are also sitting benches arranged near each pool and the park is full of green grass which is cut and it just looks like a green mat all over. We sat on the grass beside a pool and sharing the happenings in our lives. This is what we do every Friday evening when we return from office. We laugh together at the comedy incidents that happened in our office, we discuss about the many common things and even we share about our personal lives. I am telling Sanjana, "Sanju, today our PM suggested the team to plan for an outing, he is really so sweet person....." Sanjana is staring at the ripples in the pool that are caused by the cool breeze. Her face is so pale and she seems to be lost in some other thoughts and not listening to my words. This is happening quite frequently from the time she got married. I asked her, what happened to her and why she is getting lost like that suddenly. Every time I ask her, she just smiles back and say nothing. Actually I like am a fan of her smile if she does it heartfully. But in situations like this she gives formal smile which make me know that she is not happy and hiding something. The same happened today also. Initially I didn't bother much about her such behavior. But as days passed and as she is loosing the charm over her face day by day, I thought I should know the reason and do whatever I can. because, a close friend whom I have seen as a leader, badminton player, active participant and organisor in cultural activities during college days is now looking dull, lost and behaving in a peculiar manner. So today I decided not to leave her when she smiled and replied nothing.

I raised my voice and asked her, "Sanju dear, Whats happening to you these days. You are behaving in a peculiar manner sometimes. You are lost in your own thoughts and becoming dumb sometimes. I am really becoming mad. Please tell me what is happening to you". She replied in a cool manner "Nothing" again. I got frustrated and replied, "Sanju, I can't stay without talking to you and please do not talk to me until you are open to me. U can stay dumb as long as you can, I will be bearing the torture". Tears rolled over Sanjana's eyes and she hugged me and crying. I consoled her first and then asked, "Now tell me dear, what happened". She narrated her sad story.....Sanjana is married 3 years back and she has a baby now. She is staying in her Mom's home with her baby from a long time after delivery. Now a days all people after marriage feel more comfortable with life partners than even their respective parents. But Sanjana's case is not so. She got a LP with a different sort of mentality.   His company is so gloomy and he never cooperate with Sanjana in household works.  Inspite of this he also won't allow her to keep a full time servant maid. He wont give sufficient pocket money to Sanju and talk some foolish morals to escape. For this reason Sanju who initially planned not to work after marraige, started working seriously. Once she got to know her husbands mentality she hunted for a job and achieved. Even now after her pregnancy, her company called her back due to support from her team lead and offered her facility to work from home. Such a personality is hers. So she need a full time servant maid and her husband is against to it inspite of her efforts to earn her own pocket money and also saving and increasing the money by investing in various businesses. Before marriage her father used to give her Rs.15000 as pocket money. That is the her standard of life. Now she is working hard for a 5 digit salary. Her standard of life fell down. Roaming in a car, living in a house with full fledged facilities and with full time servant maid is how she is brought up. Now after marriage, totally changed, no car, no AC, no geyser, no minimum facilities which even a lower middle class families are having now a days. She adjusted for one and half year with the improper facilities her husband provided to her inspite of his good salary. He always leave her and go to onsites. Only once he took her to onsite. She can't understand his problem and the reason for him to make her subject to such difficulties.

So, Sanju strongly decided to do job because of his husbands unstable and misery mentality. So, she need to have a full time servant maid if she has to cop up with the tasks and monitoring baby besides. But her husband doesn't accept it. She is getting tensed always with his ways and prolonging her return journey to him after delivery. This is only one example, there are many such problems caused by him. So, living with such type of person is always making her sick and mentally lost.

As Sanju is narrating this problem of hers, I remember another friend of ours Sindhu, who has a servant maid besides having a very cooperative husband. He even do the kitchen work, as all guys now a days do, take her to outings to some country clubs, bowling, temples in and around the city and also every week for shopping on every weekend. They have a car, and an own house with all facilities in a city and go to parks with their child almost all evenings returning from office earlier, even though they are having full time servant maid. He sometimes prepare a special dish on weekends and create excitement. And sometimes she does it. And remaining days the servant maid. There is rotation in the work making every day exciting. On the week days, he go to office at 9 and return at 6 evening. She starts her work from home from 10 and does it through out the day with breaks to spend time with her child. When she does her office work, the servant maid will take care of the child. Sindhu has know problem even when relatives or friends come to her house, cos she has a servant and also her husband is cooperative. Life seems to be exciting, easy and filled with fun if you observe that couples. When I saw them I felt married life is really colorful . They just have fun all the days. For every 2 months they visit to guys place and girls place alternatively taking leaves giving equal importance to both sides of the family. Really when I saw them, I felt like getting married soon. But when I observe Sanjana's life, I feel like not marrying at all. This incident took place an year before to my marriage. I do not know when Sanjana's life becomes colorful. I am lucky to lead a life like Sindhu, cos my life partner is also very cooperative.

This is an example of worst vs cool life of Indian women. Beware of men making your life gloomy and may be same advice to men i.e. beware of woman making your life gloomy. If you can't take care of a woman/man as her/his parents does, please do not get married and waste a life of a person.