I just finished my breakfast with my husband. Since I preferred to eat by his hand today, we ate in the same plate and he feed me with his hands only. I set the table and I just enjoyed his hand feeding. Then he started to office and I waved my hand to him from the lobby as his car passed slowly. Immediately I cleaned the table and utensils and walked out of our apartment and locked the main door. As I am proceeding forward in the corridor, I can hear the laughs of the english people from other apartments beside ours. After I passed two appartments, I stopped and knocked at the door. I heard no response. So again I knocked and waited. Sanjana seems to be busy today. When I knock at her apartment door every morning at 9.00 AM, she responds very quickly since she will be waiting for my company at that time. But today it is peculiar for me that she took time to open the door. Sanjana and Ajay are newly married couples and came to US for Ajay's onsite work and are staying just after 2 apartments beside ours.
When Sanjana opened the door, I found that she is very tiered and is busy with something in kitchen. She wore an apron over her and greeted me with smiling face, but not as cool as everyday. She just invited me directly into kitchen and directed me to help myself to find a chair unlike everyday. When I asked her if she require any help, she told no in a cool manner and opened the oven door. There is a cake inside the oven and she tested whether it is baked or not with a knife and closed the oven door and switched it off. I asked her whether anything special today. She told that it is Ajay's birthday. Then only I remembered that she told me about this two days back. I blamed myself for forgetting and apologized her and asked her why didn't she wait and start after I came so that I can be helpful by sharing some work. For that she gave me a very heart touching reply. She said, "Dear Friend, I don't want to make you work and just want to spend time leisurely with you sharing my thoughts and play and have fun. That is why I want to complete it before you come. Also I want to prepare the birthday cake and all dishes with my own hands." When I heard the reply, I thought I am lucky to have such a friend and Ajay is lucky to have such a wife. But, then I felt Sanjana is not lucky. Though she is not enjoying the company of Ajay as partner mentally, still she does such wonderful things to him. Also, I realized that I never gave such a surprise to my husband even though he is so loving and caring with me. Additionally he will be surprising me on my birthday, our marriage day, etc. So. this time I thought I too should do something surprising on upcoming birthday of my husband. As such thoughts passed my mind, I suddenly heard that Sanjana is calling from the living room.
I realized that I am lost in my thoughts and recovered myself and went to the living room. Sanjana is waiting for me with a plate full of snacks and two glasses of apple juice. She also has a pack of cards in her left hand which we daily play and the DVD player remote in other hand. When I am nearing her, she excitingly called me "Come On friend, lets start". I am very surprised seeing her enthusiasm and energy levels even on that busy scheduled day. I know she gives importance to friends very much. But today I am experiencing it. She is very eager not to miss the time with me even on this day. At the same time she hasn't failed to do all the arrangements to surprise Ajay. I am surprised to see the balancing and planned nature of hers. We played cards for 3 hours and had lunch. Then she took the cake from the oven and covered it with cream and chocolate flakes. Then she wrote the wishes on the cake and then placed it in a big box and covered loosely.
In the evening by the time Ajay came home, she has hidden the cake and all the dishes. After some time, slowly people started coming casually. They just came as if visiting to play cards as they do on all weekends. Even my husband came. After some time, Sanjana's cousin and her family came. She quickly passed the living room and entered the bedroom and hidden something in the cupboard. It is a bouquet of red roses which Sanjana told her cousin to bring. I am very much surprised again for her planning. Then after dinner, all started playing cards. The time ran so fast. When the clock stroked 11.45 PM, Sanjana slowly slipped from the group and went to the bed room and changed the dress and waited for the clock. When the clock stroked 12.00, she entered the living room with the red roses and handed over to Ajay conveying the birthday wishes. It seems he did not expect this sort of surprise from Sanjana. But still he has a vague expression on his face. Sanjana wished and gently patted on his head and started to set the table with cake and candles. A quick cake cutting followed by a long photo section happened. As my husband and me, both are interested in such surprising parties and has good hands on in photography, we involved well in taking photos and making fun. On the whole the party is a grand success. All efforts are of Sanjana. We people just enjoyed. Hope that her efforts touched Ajay's heart. Ajay is not that enjoying company. He doesn't share much with Sanjana, doesn't cooperate her in household activities, doesn't take care of her, he knew very less about Sanjan, etc. If I were Sanjana, I would die. She has great patience.
Again I would mention, If men understands how to behave with wife and care her, she is really lucky. To be frank, I am one such lucky person. But now a days, most men are behaving so and hence the percentage of suffering women reduced a lot, except for the few cases like Sanjana. Hope Ajay realized and Sanjana enters a colorful married life soon. This is a real time happening in my friend's life and I am posting it in the form of an article with her full permissions.
to be continued...
Monday, March 22, 2010
Life Cycle of a Woman
I would like to share the various phases of life a woman passes.
Starting with a very sweet phase when she enjoys the Love, Care, Affection from the world around her i.e. the Childhood. That is the only phase when a woman is protected and guided by her loving parents or well wishers with immediate attention to her requirements even without asking for the same.
The next phase is the starting phase of problems in her i.e. maturation. the first time a woman knows the feel of the physical pain and gradually shows maturity in her thinking too. This affects her way of approach to people. Some limitations and restrictions in her talk and social living will start depending on the nature of her parents and well wishers. But still she is under cover of caring hands of them. Some Parents treat their daughter just like a very close friend. There may be some restrictions and limitations arising out of her general feminine nature. But she will be enjoying the Freedom of Life with a confidence that someone is there to share her thoughts, take care of her and attend her needs, atleast when she open her mouth and asked. In some cases, parents are very strict and concerned and she starts experiencing the worst part of life from this phase itself.
Then comes the very important phase of life which is the major turning point in Woman's Life i.e. none other than Marriage. This phase can be the most colorful, or most disastrous or a mixture of both. Once it is set colorful with a partner who takes care just like her parents in previous phases, nothing more happiest thing happens for any woman on this earth. I appreciate the fact that most of the men now a days trying to be like that. But...if unfortunately she fells in the hands of a man who marries thinking that marriage will reduce his bachelor expenses or who doesn't share his thoughts or plans to her, or who is an expression less gloomy person, or who doesn't follow her advices though he is so unplanned, etc. then starts the real torture. For torturing a woman, a man need not directly scold her, or beat her. Just the above qualities in him are enough to make her life gloomy. Still, I do not know in present day matured generation, how there are still some men existing with such undesirable qualities. OK, I do not want to deviate the topic, just expressed out of the emotional reminding of my friend, one such sufferer. I would like to discuss what a woman expects and what does she dream of her married life in my next article. So keeping this topic aside for now, we shall switch to next phase of life.
The next phase, Motherhood is a wonderful phase the woman is gifted by God. Even this is also the phase when woman face the most critical physical and mental pains. But all those soothed by her child. All her stress involved in 9 months carrying, and labor for delivery are forgotten with just her child's senses. No other problems come to her brain after delivery. Woman just enjoys the motherhood with her child. She and her child will be her world. But, this is in case she has a partner with undesirable qualities mentioned in above para. If she got the right partner, she gives first priority to her partner only. In such cases, it will be her partner, child and herself/any other close ones in the order of her priority. Why this happens so is, the love, care and affection shown by a loving partner will provide energy and mental strength for her to bear all the stress of carrying and delivering the baby successfully and safely. If the partner is with undesirable characters, even in that situation, she herself builds up mental strength keeping all hopes on her child. So, due to this, the concern she show to her life partner lightens, in some cases almost nullified. Believe me, I have seen such cases. I think most of the woman decided that the olden methodologies of great Pathivrathas like Sathi Savithri won't work out in this generation in case they get partners with such undesirable characters.
Switching to the next phase, i.e. Old age, some woman just spend there time with their loving life partners with occasional short visits to their child's places. Now a days, even old women are so broadminded that they stopped complaining about their daughter in laws or son in laws. They just visit and return calmly without any disturbance. But this is done by woman whose life partners are with desirable characters and they enjoy their company. In case of undesirable life partner, woman in old age either join in some ashramams or else she converts to be a fussy disturbance to her child's life without her knowledge with regular visits or completely staying with them and always passing complaints either directly or indirectly. This is the bad side of a narrow minded woman in her old age. Even some woman are also very cooperative and helpful to their children irrespective of whether it is a daughter or daughter in law.
So, thus the woman passes different phases of her life with different ways of thinking and approach with different people in Life.
Finally I would like to mention that there are woman who are fussy to their parents, henpecking their husbands even though he is loving and caring to her, fussy to her child in her old age. But it is another topic which i will discuss in my later posts.
Starting with a very sweet phase when she enjoys the Love, Care, Affection from the world around her i.e. the Childhood. That is the only phase when a woman is protected and guided by her loving parents or well wishers with immediate attention to her requirements even without asking for the same.
The next phase is the starting phase of problems in her i.e. maturation. the first time a woman knows the feel of the physical pain and gradually shows maturity in her thinking too. This affects her way of approach to people. Some limitations and restrictions in her talk and social living will start depending on the nature of her parents and well wishers. But still she is under cover of caring hands of them. Some Parents treat their daughter just like a very close friend. There may be some restrictions and limitations arising out of her general feminine nature. But she will be enjoying the Freedom of Life with a confidence that someone is there to share her thoughts, take care of her and attend her needs, atleast when she open her mouth and asked. In some cases, parents are very strict and concerned and she starts experiencing the worst part of life from this phase itself.
Then comes the very important phase of life which is the major turning point in Woman's Life i.e. none other than Marriage. This phase can be the most colorful, or most disastrous or a mixture of both. Once it is set colorful with a partner who takes care just like her parents in previous phases, nothing more happiest thing happens for any woman on this earth. I appreciate the fact that most of the men now a days trying to be like that. But...if unfortunately she fells in the hands of a man who marries thinking that marriage will reduce his bachelor expenses or who doesn't share his thoughts or plans to her, or who is an expression less gloomy person, or who doesn't follow her advices though he is so unplanned, etc. then starts the real torture. For torturing a woman, a man need not directly scold her, or beat her. Just the above qualities in him are enough to make her life gloomy. Still, I do not know in present day matured generation, how there are still some men existing with such undesirable qualities. OK, I do not want to deviate the topic, just expressed out of the emotional reminding of my friend, one such sufferer. I would like to discuss what a woman expects and what does she dream of her married life in my next article. So keeping this topic aside for now, we shall switch to next phase of life.
The next phase, Motherhood is a wonderful phase the woman is gifted by God. Even this is also the phase when woman face the most critical physical and mental pains. But all those soothed by her child. All her stress involved in 9 months carrying, and labor for delivery are forgotten with just her child's senses. No other problems come to her brain after delivery. Woman just enjoys the motherhood with her child. She and her child will be her world. But, this is in case she has a partner with undesirable qualities mentioned in above para. If she got the right partner, she gives first priority to her partner only. In such cases, it will be her partner, child and herself/any other close ones in the order of her priority. Why this happens so is, the love, care and affection shown by a loving partner will provide energy and mental strength for her to bear all the stress of carrying and delivering the baby successfully and safely. If the partner is with undesirable characters, even in that situation, she herself builds up mental strength keeping all hopes on her child. So, due to this, the concern she show to her life partner lightens, in some cases almost nullified. Believe me, I have seen such cases. I think most of the woman decided that the olden methodologies of great Pathivrathas like Sathi Savithri won't work out in this generation in case they get partners with such undesirable characters.
Switching to the next phase, i.e. Old age, some woman just spend there time with their loving life partners with occasional short visits to their child's places. Now a days, even old women are so broadminded that they stopped complaining about their daughter in laws or son in laws. They just visit and return calmly without any disturbance. But this is done by woman whose life partners are with desirable characters and they enjoy their company. In case of undesirable life partner, woman in old age either join in some ashramams or else she converts to be a fussy disturbance to her child's life without her knowledge with regular visits or completely staying with them and always passing complaints either directly or indirectly. This is the bad side of a narrow minded woman in her old age. Even some woman are also very cooperative and helpful to their children irrespective of whether it is a daughter or daughter in law.
So, thus the woman passes different phases of her life with different ways of thinking and approach with different people in Life.
Finally I would like to mention that there are woman who are fussy to their parents, henpecking their husbands even though he is loving and caring to her, fussy to her child in her old age. But it is another topic which i will discuss in my later posts.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling…
And even more beautiful is knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!
Be a reason for others to smile - Told by Unknown
SMILE.....with your heart......u will find hidden wonders and even you can make unbelievable and unexpected wonders happen:) - Told by Siri :)
Live 2 Luv,but never Luv 2 Live.The Language of Friendship is not words but meanings;&the expression n perception of those meanings require words - Told by Siri :)
Help others heartfully and completely.... just assuming their work same as yours, that makes your contribution real and make them feel ease in your relationship - Told by Siri :)
So, an amalgam of smile and open expressive words and heartful contribution bring a charm across your cool personality n calm life - characters of ideal personality and ideal life as per me - Told by Siri :)
I beleive in it and always trying to follow it... :-)
If we are not ideal, atleast we can try to be... :)
Lt(Human) = 1
Life->ideality
- Siri :) Cheerzzz...
And even more beautiful is knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!
Be a reason for others to smile - Told by Unknown
SMILE.....with your heart......u will find hidden wonders and even you can make unbelievable and unexpected wonders happen:) - Told by Siri :)
Live 2 Luv,but never Luv 2 Live.The Language of Friendship is not words but meanings;&the expression n perception of those meanings require words - Told by Siri :)
Help others heartfully and completely.... just assuming their work same as yours, that makes your contribution real and make them feel ease in your relationship - Told by Siri :)
So, an amalgam of smile and open expressive words and heartful contribution bring a charm across your cool personality n calm life - characters of ideal personality and ideal life as per me - Told by Siri :)
I beleive in it and always trying to follow it... :-)
If we are not ideal, atleast we can try to be... :)
Lt(Human) = 1
Life->ideality
- Siri :) Cheerzzz...
An amalgam of smile and open expressive words and heartful contribution bring a charm across your cool personality n calm life - These are the characters of ideal personality and ideal life as per me
I beleive in it and always trying to follow it to reach that ideality... :-)
If we are not ideal, atleast we can try to be...
Lt (Human ) = 1
Life->ideal
Siri :) Cheerzzz...
I beleive in it and always trying to follow it to reach that ideality... :-)
If we are not ideal, atleast we can try to be...
Lt (Human ) = 1
Life->ideal
Siri :) Cheerzzz...
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
If u don't Express then feel Stress
Welcome to the world full of expressions.
Imagine a person with expressionless face, talk, life. Could you survive in such company. Imagine that you were in a place where u were never receiving
love, affection, friendship when your heart throbes for such company;
moral consolement when you are guilty/depressed;
soothing words when you are downhearted/sad
howz tat.....Oh God!!! like a hell it is.........and.......even you don't have soul to share your feelings........or you are caught up in such a situation that u cannot share them with anyone......
Does anyone really like to exist in such a sombre state of ur life???
If you like, then you are the most sombre person and no one likes to exist in your gloomy company..........Right! Thats how every human who wants to enjoy life feel and such people can make their life healthy and lively by whatever means.
People who are unable to do that are subject to stress which would destroy their health by a single stroke or by gradually depletion. Every human being should have the freedom to express fight-or-flight. If such expressions are supressed, it affects the adrenal glands of endocrine system, and then the nervous system and thereby to that person's life.
Read the following info regarding stress:
Imagine a person with expressionless face, talk, life. Could you survive in such company. Imagine that you were in a place where u were never receiving
love, affection, friendship when your heart throbes for such company;
moral consolement when you are guilty/depressed;
soothing words when you are downhearted/sad
howz tat.....Oh God!!! like a hell it is.........and.......even you don't have soul to share your feelings........or you are caught up in such a situation that u cannot share them with anyone......
Does anyone really like to exist in such a sombre state of ur life???
If you like, then you are the most sombre person and no one likes to exist in your gloomy company..........Right! Thats how every human who wants to enjoy life feel and such people can make their life healthy and lively by whatever means.
People who are unable to do that are subject to stress which would destroy their health by a single stroke or by gradually depletion. Every human being should have the freedom to express fight-or-flight. If such expressions are supressed, it affects the adrenal glands of endocrine system, and then the nervous system and thereby to that person's life.
Read the following info regarding stress:
Emotional or Psychological Stress. Responding to emotional stress over and over will eventually deplete the adrenal glands. A single overwhelming shock such as death of a loved one can also deplete the adrenals. Emotional stress can begin in childhood or at any time in life. It is actually the resistance or fear of a situation that causes the stress response. A loving response will cause much less of a reaction, no matter what the situation.
Other possible stressors include pressures from family, school, work, social pressure, financial stress and others. People who force their bodies to "run or fight" all the time by any means will tend to exhaust their adrenal glands. The 'fight-or-flight' response must be balanced by adequate rest and sleep.
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